It’s OK that you landed here. You’re young and you’re learning how to navigate a crazy world. Everyone makes a big mess of things when they’re in their 20s. “I made a lot of mistakes, I made a lot of mistakes,” Sufjan Stevens sings over and over at the end of “Chicago,” and his melancholy is laced with a redemptive kind of forgiveness. Forgive yourself for fucking up, and know that you will be loved and adored and heard and treasured as a friend. You will have everything you’ve ever wanted.
But you need to stay sober and believe in yourself like it’s your job. Now is the time to cultivate your sense of gratitude for small things. Walk outside, in the early morning chill, in the pouring rain, and tell yourself: I am fully alive, I am eminently lovable, and my life is just beginning.
When I was small, I remember my mother saying that she believed aliens helped build the pyramids. She used to keep crystals around. She used to carry healing stones. She used to believe my father would always come back to her.
Now that she is older, she prays to the nail marks in someone’s palms but I don’t think she believes in forgiveness anymore. I firmly believe that she sent me to Sunday school in little floral dresses not to torture me, but to learn this.
Hurt me once: shame on me. Hurt me twice: shame on me. Hurt me three times: shame on me but fuck you. Hurt me four times and we’ll get severed-head biblical. We will pick up stones.
And now that I am older, I don’t give a damn about sin. I will be the first to cast one.
Israeli forces have begun to enter Gaza, after 10 days of shelling that has killed more than 200 Palestinians. One Israeli was killed in rocket attacks from the Palestinian enclave. The escalation comes after Hamas, which governs Gaza, rejected a truce brokered by Egypt.